I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.