I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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