You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
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That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.