He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.