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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
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