I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.