Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?