I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.