Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.