Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (240)

Last Night in Maryland (240)

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There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.

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What a good friend

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(301): There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out. (240): What a good friend http://tfl.nu/qs4m

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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

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(240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp

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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick

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(240): it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick http://tfl.nu/lcrn

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A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it

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(240): A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it http://tfl.nu/zmnm

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A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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(240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with http://tfl.nu/1e7c

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God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

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(240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8

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Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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(240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4

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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.

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(240): Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood. http://tfl.nu/tqto

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No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom

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(240): No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1eer

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I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob

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(240): I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob http://tfl.nu/qz5h

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I need Jameson.

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Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.

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(540): I need Jameson. (240): Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot. http://tfl.nu/qo8a

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The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!

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(240): The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different! http://tfl.nu/rsm4

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Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef

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Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!

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That is the exact response I was looking for.

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(202): Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef (240): Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst! (202): That is the exact response I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/qkl0

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Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP

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(240): Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP http://tfl.nu/rq2g

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If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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(240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1

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Last Night in Maryland (240)

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