Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW