Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off