Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks