She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me