You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs