What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch