Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?