Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
