I just made out with a guy for $7.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
