in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Everyone says I win the strip club
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
