so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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