Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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