i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
