do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
