I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.