Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alaska (907)

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.

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  (907): Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor. http://tfl.nu/kb13
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  I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter

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  (907): I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter http://tfl.nu/wvk4
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  When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

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  (907): When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on. http://tfl.nu/9zlu
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  so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?

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  (907): so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go? http://tfl.nu/synh
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  I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.

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  (907): I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex. http://tfl.nu/29kt
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  Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.

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  (907): Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo. http://tfl.nu/e2tw
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  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
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  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
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  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
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  I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.

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  (907): I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream. http://tfl.nu/8o4c
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  I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!

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  (907): I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?! http://tfl.nu/q90z
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  I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.

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  (907): I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup. http://tfl.nu/rbz2
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  That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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  (907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k
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  The chlamydia really affected his face.

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  (907): The chlamydia really affected his face. http://tfl.nu/9z0n
  Replies (6) Good night (314) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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  Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.

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  (907): Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless. http://tfl.nu/ncqk
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