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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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