Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.