Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit