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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
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