The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
I'm actually proud
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.