My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?