So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
I was spiderman.
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i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.