Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (559)

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  I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?

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  (559): I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad? http://tfl.nu/uj0t
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  Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.

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  (559): Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor. http://tfl.nu/6xcl
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  there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.

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  (559): there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap. http://tfl.nu/jpym
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  We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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  (559): We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child. http://tfl.nu/mund
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  His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me

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  (559): His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me http://tfl.nu/qdk0
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  The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.

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  (559): The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/xrml
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  He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.

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  (559): He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him. http://tfl.nu/1qyh
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  Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.

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  (559): Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out. http://tfl.nu/isge
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  Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.

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  (559): Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND. http://tfl.nu/ouew
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  Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?

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  (559): Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room? http://tfl.nu/fqub
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  can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.

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  (559): can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock. http://tfl.nu/805r
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  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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  (559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa
  Replies (21) Good night (4532) Bad night (1283)
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  Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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  (559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d
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  The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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  (559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd
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  He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.

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  (559): He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed. http://tfl.nu/q245
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