Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
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i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
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Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?