A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?