She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.