Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (845)

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  (845): View more from New York

  YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE

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  YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.

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  I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER

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  (845): YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE (1-914): YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING. (845): I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER http://tfl.nu/t573
  Replies (7) Good night (1822) Bad night (240)
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  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

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  (845): The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction. http://tfl.nu/75bn
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (235)
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  I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

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  (845): I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/wul6
  Replies (6) Good night (742) Bad night (229) Order T-Shirt
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  And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

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  I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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  (914): And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken. (845): I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa? http://tfl.nu/09c4
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (225)
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  I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.

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  I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"

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  (845): I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home. (845): I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip" http://tfl.nu/e0kb
  Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (212)
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  I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...

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  (845): I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex... http://tfl.nu/82t9
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
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  Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

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  (845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show. http://tfl.nu/ezu8
  Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
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  New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.

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  (845): New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work. http://tfl.nu/j014
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (183) Order T-Shirt
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  I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.

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  (845): I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/cl86
  Replies (3) Good night (607) Bad night (154) Order T-Shirt
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  The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us

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  I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god

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  (845): The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us (845): I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god http://tfl.nu/vq2q
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (123)
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  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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  (845): I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this. http://tfl.nu/z7id
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (114) Order T-Shirt