Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.