Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end