Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No...this little piggys going to the bar