Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No...this little piggys going to the bar