Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Follow @tfln