So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
