Last Night in Kansas (785)

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.

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