all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more