I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What changed your mind?
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He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
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Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.