Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?

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  (202): How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers? http://tfl.nu/rzz2
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  Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?

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  (202): Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way? http://tfl.nu/rhdn
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  he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!

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  (202): he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night! http://tfl.nu/w1it
  Replies (9) Good night (1404) Bad night (303)
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  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
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  Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.

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  (202): Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation. http://tfl.nu/g1cn
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  remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

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  (202): remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER. http://tfl.nu/2j9f
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  so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?

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  (202): so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis? http://tfl.nu/6d0w
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  i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML

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  (202): i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML http://tfl.nu/7ngy
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  i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day

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  (202): i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day http://tfl.nu/prhf
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  you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?

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  (202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? http://tfl.nu/psur
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  I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

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  Da na na, na na naa

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  (571): I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background (202): Da na na, na na naa http://tfl.nu/9l4t
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  the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something

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  (202): the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something http://tfl.nu/lezg
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  In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.

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  (202): In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American. http://tfl.nu/gnds
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  I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later

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  I knew I liked you

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  (202): I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later (410): I knew I liked you http://tfl.nu/yvq5
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  I love you more with every blowjob.

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  You should write for Hallmark.

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  (202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x
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