i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin