i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin