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Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
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