She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person