Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom