I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
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nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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