Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (331)

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Last Night in Illinois (331)

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(331): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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(331): View more from Illinois

My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.

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(331): View more from Illinois

DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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(331): View more from Illinois

Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(331): View more from Illinois

She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"

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(331): View more from Illinois

She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy

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(331): View more from Illinois

I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?

(1-331): View more from Illinois

A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.

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(331): View more from Illinois

What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.

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(331): View more from Illinois

decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.

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