Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
