They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
