I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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