I bet he comes in French.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
