It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.